Liquid Death is Putting Tony Hawk’s Blood in Some Skateboards
Tony Hawk has been all over the place in 2021. He was at the Tokyo Olympics. He remains the biggest name in skateboarding. Hawk often uses his name to help good causes, which is what he is doing here which is why we’re writing about it even though everything else about it totally sucks. So there’s this water brand called Liquid Death who have about the most-grating marketing department in the history of water. Their slogan is “Murder Your Thirst” and they kind of feel like they are trying to be the Cards Against Humanity of water, but somehow even less funny and more tiring? They do a thing where you can sell your soul to them for free water or something? Anyway, they suck.
Liquid Death is also selling 100 skateboards infused with Tony Hawk’s blood. This is indeed a thing that happened. Hawk gave his blood to be mixed in with paint used on these decks so that a bit of Hawk’s blood will be in every one of these decks, which are going for $500 apiece. This is stupid. It’s so performatively edgy but falls so short. However, a portion of the profits do go to 5 Gyres – an anti-plastic non-profit – and Tony Hawk’s Skatepark Project. That’s good! Maybe you can give money to those groups without supporting Liquid Death’s nonsense? If you really want to get something for your charity, though, then we guess you can drop $500 on a skateboard that has Tony Hawk’s blood in it for some reason. Although, they may already be sold out by the time you read this.
There’s a YouTube video from Liquid Death that goes along with this offering. We don’t want to link to it. We don’t want to go further down the rabbit hole of Liquid Death’s nonsense. On the other hand, we saw a thing online today from the South China Post about a French bulldog in China that has gone viral for skateboarding. Watch that instead above. Tony, we admire your dedication to helping out the Skateboard Project. Hopefully next time you won’t have to put your blood into skateboards to get some cash.